Two weeks in and still alive

It’s been two weeks since I started this diet. So far so good! I mean, I caught the start of the zombie plague last week and managed to produce more snot that I thought was humanly possible, coupled with a TB like cough, and an inner ear infection that made walking a game of chance. All while also having company for the week. Hooray! Thankfully my guest were old friends who know better than to have high standards for me to meet.

I’ve lost about 20 pounds in 15 days. I’ve added walking the she-beast for thirty minutes. She-beast is my preferred term for the 85 pound idiot we adopted. She’s quite possibly the dumbest smart dog ever to exist. I think we got the “special” one. I also drink my magic water, water I add drops of magic stuff to that makes me lose weight and have energy. It’s not really magic stuff, it’s minerals and stuff, but it makes me drink it like it will make me into a less-fabulous version of Angelina Jolie. Magic.

I’ve peopled and adulted a lot this week, considering I thought I was turning into a zombie last week. Adulting is hard but someone’s got to do it. The only thing I want is a big bowl of granola! I want it like a fat girl wants all you can eat Chinese food. Mmmmmmm granola…. When this is all over in 24 days, I’m going to eat some granola. Maybe a whole box. But I’ll use Almond Milk so it won’t be so unhealthy, that counts right?


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